Beth Detjens, Author

I believe everyone has a story worth telling. Mine is anchored in family, faith and animals.

In my “Never Series” Come along and experience the magic of childhood in rural America. You may be surprised what you can learn from the amazing animals that shaped our family.

Or check out my newest book — Suddenly Home — to take your work-from-home performance to the next level.

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“Never” Book Series

 

I didn’t set out to write a book series. I simply wanted to preserve the memories of growing up with so many entertaining and exotic pets—primarily for my children and for friends and family who found the stories particularly funny. When the first book in the series, Never Buy a Raccoon at a Gas Station, was published, it became an Amazon bestseller during its first week. In this first book, you’ll meet our pet raccoon, Bandit.

In response to customer requests for more stories, the second book in the series was born, titled Never Put an Alligator in Your Car. It became a #1 New Release during its first week on Amazon. In Never Put an Alligator in Your Car, you’ll meet silver foxes, a margay, leopard cats, South American ostriches, alpacas, miniature horses, pygmy goats, skunks, opossums, and yes, an alligator in our car.

The series finale, Never Hide a Horse in the Freezer, brings you through the rest of my childhood and introduces more recent pet adventures. It’s currently available for pre-order and will be released November 26, 2019.

While Book 1 focused on stories of the family’s pet raccoon, Bandit, Book 2 tells the stories of so many other animals that became part of the family through the years. Book 3 shows the lasting impact in more recent animal adventures sparked by such a unique childhood.

Thank you to Tracy—at Virtually Possible Designs—for the incredible cover art on the entire series. You are beyond talented! Fellow authors, do yourself a favor and check it out for your next book cover. And if you’re interested in writing your own book, click here to get the details from Self-Publishing School.

 

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January 2019 | Available Online & In Stores

One of my favorite pets growing up was a raccoon named Bandit. He wasn't a traditional pet, but he was by far the most entertaining. This is a collection of hilarious stories starring Bandit, with life lessons for all ages woven into each story.

The most amazing part is that adventure was that every story you'll read here actually happened - unbelievably, often, unfortunately - it all happened.


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May 2019 | available online & in stores

Growing up in rural Virginia gave my family the opportunity to host all kinds of wildlife and exotic pets. This is a collection of stories starring several of those amazing animals.

Life at our house was always an adventure. Each animal taught us lessons that have served us well, and I’m delighted to share with you both the stories and the lessons.


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November 2019 | Available Online & In Stores

When your childhood is so packed with unique experiences, it definitely shapes who you become as an adult. I am forever grateful for the priceless moments our family shared. I feel the influence today with my own family and our shared love of animals. This final book of the series — Never Hide a Horse in the Freezer — fills in the last of the unique pet stories, featuring a horse that did indeed find its way to the freezer.


April 2020 | All-in-One Series Edition & Gift Sets

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Can’t wait for the gift sets? Please feel free to order your own companion animals from Amazon. Collect all 3 animals to go with your complete book series here:

  • Click here to order the raccoon.

  • Click here to order the alligator.

  • Click here to order the horse.


Suddenly Home

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April 2020 | Available Online & In Stores

If you find yourself “suddenly home” and you’re feeling uncertain or overwhelmed, this book is for you. It’s not a comprehensive guide; it’s a quick-start tutorial to help you take your performance at home to the next level.

How do I know?

Almost 20 years ago, I was offered an opportunity that changed my career forever. What started as a resignation attempt turned into almost two decades of working full-time from home. Now it’s the only way I can imagine getting so much done. And I’m happy to share with you what I’ve learned.


 

Behind the Stories

Book an Event

Interested in a live reading and book signing for your classroom, bookstore, or library? Click below to check availability & book your event.

Questions?

Ask the Author

Got a question? Idea for another series? Or do you just want to tell me what you thought about the book(s)? Click below to connect.

 
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I enjoyed an extraordinary childhood in rural Virginia, where my family hosted an endless menagerie of domestic pets, exotic pets, and local wildlife. In college, I earned two Bachelor's Degrees in Education and I later earned two Master’s Degrees in Business.

My Bachelor's degrees are in Secondary English, Grades 6-12, and Exceptional Student Education. My Master's Degrees are a Master of Arts in Business Administration (MBA) and Master of Science in Management and Leadership (MSML).

Before entering the corporate world, I was a high school English teacher and special needs advocate. Today, I enjoy a corporate career specializing in marketing and communication, along with freelance writing, graphic design and business consulting.

I appreciate the simple joys of family life with my husband, two kids, and two (just two) Goldendoodles.